Living Among Nature

One of the reasons why I am so very happy to be living where we are now is that I have the time and the opportunity to enjoy the great outdoors, right at my own backyard so to speak.  The other day I talked my husband into taking time on his day off to put down his "to do" list and come with me on a bike ride.  

Everyone around here knows the bridge is closed at the end of our road.  You can still cross the road on foot but no cars are allowed to pass on it.  It has been this way for over four years the locals say.  I have no problem with that because it is a beautiful nature trail to the river that runs out to the bay of Lake Erie near Long Point.  

Just to give you a little bit of insight to the area we live in, it is known as the Carolinian region where native trees (Sassafras, Cucumber Magnolia, Tulip-tree, Black Walnut, Pawpa) a distinctly southern character and has one-third of Canada’s rare and endangered plants and animals living here. It is hot and humid, on some days I've thought to myself how much it reminds me of the tropics but then again I've never been to South or North Carolina so I have nothing to compare it to.


Here are some of the photos and a video I took that day.  It was just as muggy and humid as it might look but the river was so peaceful and so many birds were singing everywhere.  It was like something out of a movie. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lqrkb4iW5-Q

In my backyard along my garden path, I found this little creature helping control the insect population, in which there is plenty around here.

We are currently experiencing an invasion of Midges, which happens annually about this time of the year. We are dealing with them as best we can.  They have said this has been the worst year so far.  Wouldn't you know it and its our first year here.

Midges resemble mosquitoes with fuzzy antennae but aren't suppose to bite or transmit any diseases. The black, shifting swarms in the sky looked like a Biblical plaque!  I'm not kidding you! It is very eerie near Lake Erie (pun intended).  They disappear within a couple of weeks or so because the life cycle of the adults only last a few weeks.  When they are swarming in the skies, they are actually mating. After mating in the air, the females drop back down to lakes and waterways to lay eggs just so we can be annoyed by them again next spring.   

What I hate about it is how they coat the side of your house, doors, screens, vehicles and are all over the yard and in the bushes...you get swarmed by them every time you go outside and they try to get inside where your lights are on.  They are just an annoyance but they won't hurt you. 

Tip: Since I swallowed a few the other day when I was running around like a wild woman flailing my hands in the air to shoo them away, I recommend keeping your head down with your mouth and eyes shut if you can make it through the insect gauntlet to or from your vehicle.

What's next?  We already know...mosquitoes are on their way so at least the Midges have gotten us to be prepared. ...ah, the joys of summer!  

Childhood Memories of Summer

My summer memories growing up in Kansas in the 60′s was playing outside all day and into the night. I rode my bike all over town from one side to the other without a worry or care in the world (back then my mom and dad didn’t have to worry much either in those days). I use to pack a sack lunch and ride to the park to explore or ride to the swimming pool. Once in a while a friend would ride bikes with me but most of the time I was off on an adventure in solitude. I played outside with my neighbourhood friends catching lightning bugs (fireflies) and collecting locust shells.

I always looked forward to visiting my grandparents on their farm where I would chase the chickens, play in the hay mow, watch grandpa milking the cows, building a tree house and pretty much anything that could be explored and imagined outside.

One time we visited my other grandparents who lived in the country also but they didn’t have running water or electricity. I remember one summer it was so hot and I was very young probably 5 or 6 years old. My mom and I had to stay with the grandparents for awhile to take care of my grandmother. We slept upstairs of a 2 story house without electricity. I remember crying myself to sleep listening to the coyotes howling while my mother leaned over me in bed fanning me for a long time till I fell asleep because it was so hot. I hated using the outhouse and at night upstairs we had a pee pot and longing for the comforts at our own home but still, I found something to explore even there on that farm. I was fascinated by cowpies in the pasture. l

Today, a woman of 55, I finally have my own country home and my grandkids are visiting me.  I love gardening and puttering outside in the yard, taking long walks along the country road and…..I’m still exploring the countryside on my bike.

Where was I exactly 37 years ago today?

Exactly 37 years ago today I was a young girl who was about to step across a threshold that would forever change my life.  It took place in my home town of Emporia, Kansas.  I remember that day as I prepared myself to walk down the isle of the First Church of the Nazarene, although I think back then it was just called The Nazarene Church but I could be wrong.  Reverend Joe Bean (I'm so not kidding -- that was his name) was standing there at the end of the isle to pronounce me married for the first time in my life at the age of 19.

I had no idea how much my life was about to change and how challenging it would be.  Up till then I had relied on my parents for everything but all I ever wanted was to become a bride and have my own dream of marriage. What did I know about marriage at that age?  I can tell you what I didn't know.

I didn't know that my parents had problems in their marriage because not only did they hide it well but I was so oblivious to reality* back then.  Mom and Dad tried to talk me out of it because they knew just how hard it was going to be and they knew I really wasn't ready for it.  I think if we could all be honest it wasn't so much about the young boy I was about to marry as it was that I didn't have a clue about the reality of marriage and family.  My parents kept their issues between them to themselves, which was not wrong but they never talked openly about any problem.  I was naive and very gullible trusting everyone to take care of me to make me happy, easily deceived in my fantasy* world as what love and marriage was all about.

On April 19, 1974 my life changed.  I had no idea how my life would not turn out the way I had planned because I truly believed my dream of happiness had come true.  I thought this is it!  All I ever wanted was to grow up, get married and live happily ever after.  We would love each other forever and have great adventures while somehow have a beautiful home and perfect little family together.  Beyond that I had no idea how we were going to get these things, make that dream a reality or handle any problems because honestly I never thought we would have any problems if we were married.  It was always about getting there but never about what to do when you got there.  I was ill-equipped to handle life outside my parent’s home but didn’t know it. 

*My favourite TV shows and movies in my young teen life were: 

Family shows of the 50's, 60', 70's about how love, marriage and families:

• Leave It To Beaver (Ward & June knew how to hold it together and still deal with the Beav)
• The Brady Bunch (so they had 6 kids to raise, obviously Carol & Mike had true love and made it look fun)
• Little House on The Prairie (Laura Ingalls could have been my BBF)
• The Walton's (goodnight Mole Boy, obey your parents, follow your dreams and be a good brother)
• I Dream of Jeannie (she tried to be obedient and really loved her Master plus clean the house with a blink)
• The Partridge Family (Shirley was a really wise mom and I was madly in love with Keith

Music shows: Soul Train and Dick Clark's American Bandstand taught me how to dance (or so I thought)

Adventure shows with hot leading men or beautiful role models:

Alias Smith and Jones (Pete Duel and Ben Murphy) --- I was so in love with these two fantasy lovers at the same time that my best friend and I wrote short stories imaging ourselves with Pete and Ben as our boyfriends. When Pete shot himself in real life on Dec 31, 1971, I thought my life was over too.  Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry would never be the same.

Starsky and Hutch....omg!!!!!! hot hot hot

Romantic Comedy movies  one of my favourite husband/lover role models turned out to be gay

·         Pillow Talk (1959) Rock Hudson and Doris Day

·         Lover Come Back (1961) Rock Hudson and Doris Day

·         Send Me No Flowers (1964) Rock Hudson and Doris Day

·         Man's Favorite Sport (1964) Rock Hudson and Paula Prentiss

• I knew every line of the song "supercalafragalisticexpialadoshus" in the movie, Mary Poppins, which means something to say, when you do not know what to say.  

Flashback 37 years ago today.  This young girl stepped into another world of reality for the first time but it took many, many years until I finally woke up and became a woman.   

“Leave it to Charlotte” starring Charlotte as the young naive girl who steps from fantasy to reality for the first time and gets herself into a terrible mess.  She’s married to that crazy mixed up boy who doesn’t know what he wants either.  Together they have two kids before they realize they’ve made a huge mistake and don’t know how to talk to each other.  In fact, (laugh track) they have all kinds of fun trying to communicate.  That wacky Charlotte, she is always getting herself into things just like that famous redhead on TV.  Our favourite memorable episode of Charlotte’s was when she ran her car across the railroad tracks and got the car high-centered.  Thanks to a CB radio in the car, she was able to call the sherriff for help.  He and the town folk came running to flag down the train and get her and her toddler safely out of the car. With the help of some heavy duty chains, the family car was pulled and pushed off the tracks. Oh boy, what will hubby say about the dent under the car?  Not to worry, he’ll probably be so happy she and their daughter return safely that he won’t even notice..... stay tuned to find out his reaction.

...and remember folks, there is no place like home and home is where the heart is.

This social butterfly has become a homebody.

I kind of prefer staying at home and being by myself lately.  What’s happening to me?  Is this just a phase or is this a sign of depression. Since we just moved to our “new world” I am just happier in my safe place, my new and peace-filled, home in the country.   I don’t like to be away from it very long.  When I go out I will travel but I don't like to travel far from home unless I’m visiting my family, especially the grandkids.  After working so hard pushing myself out of my comfort zone for many, many years so I can "grow", I find myself clinging to the comfort level in my new home since I'm in a new, unfamiliar world. Is it normal to become a homebody when you finally escape from the rat race? 

Today I posted on my Facebook status “honestly feeling withdrawn”.  Am I in danger of becoming depressed or worse, one of those people that have a phobia about leaving their house – Agoraphobic (fear of open spaces and crowds)?  I use to have panic attacks but rarely have them anymore, praise God for deliverance from that.  I have faced two phobias in my life that appear contradictory: Claustrophobia is the fear of having no escape and being closed in (opposite: claustrophilia). It is typically classified as an anxiety disorder; Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder defined as a morbid fear of wide open spaces, crowds, or uncontrolled social conditions.   While I don't like confined, small places, I use to surround myself with clutter to the point that my secret room (my office) was like a scene from hoarders.  Thankfully moving helped me purge out all that junk and in our new home I am very free of clutter and am much better at being organized.  I’ve always been extremely uncomfortable when I’m in large crowds – I feel like I can’t breathe or will be crushed to death or lost.  One reason I was rarely interested in going to the Calgary Stampede or to a concert, for example.  Still, I did it but would prefer not to.  If you want to experience it at least once then you have no choice but to try it.  It didn’t take me long to say, “Ok, been there, done that.  I’m good.”   Whenever I am driving somewhere I freak out if I get lost, while at the same time I love to explore and be adventurous.  Everything seems to be contradictory with my issues.  How can you be shy and extroverted at the same time?  How can you be an explorer who is afraid of getting lost?  What in the world is wrong with me?  Any suggestions?

I don’t have a job anymore and haven’t been very motivated to find one, although I have been looking and putting in applications when I'm out shopping or when I search online.  I have been, shall we say, selective.  Ideally I would prefer to work from home so I don’t have to go anywhere.  I started a walking program where on nice days I take long walks around by the lake.  I have a goal to walk the full perimeter around the fields and back to my house, which would be 9 km total.  I haven’t been able to go on the walk lately due to crappy weather.  I find I’m just not that motivated to go anywhere outside of my house.  It feels like I need my space and my rest.  Before we moved my life was so chaotic.  I use to be very outgoing, busy, had lots of friends, had a stress-filled job, was involved in activities away from home – church, women’s groups, etc.  Ever since we moved thousands of miles away to a home in the country my life has changed.  Now I’ve noticed that I seem to be clinging to this quiet, peaceful, stay-at-home lifestyle.  We went from three vehicles to one, which my husband has most of the time because he has to drive 40 minutes to work.  Most of the time we have guests come to our house for dinner or to stay the weekend.  I still get out and go shopping every now and then but rarely alone.   I prefer staying home alone all day alone to going anywhere or even going outside. 

When my husband is home on his day off I find myself annoyed that he is infringing upon my day to myself.  I also find I’m resentful when he wants me to do something extra above and beyond what I may have considered doing, although I might not have a particular plan for that day.  I clean house, cook, organize certain areas throughout the house, surf the net, do the odd thing here and there and finally getting to sit down to read some good books, reading more often than I have done in a long, long time.  There are very, few times when I am bored, mostly I am just relaxed and unmotivated, puttering around without much rush unless we are having someone coming for dinner.  I have cooked more than I have in several years because I actually have the time.  I'm kind of enjoying it.

I’m not totally anti-social.  I try to invite someone for dinner every week and I go to church each week, which is about 5 minutes from my house.  I chat online, send and receive emails, post on my blog, read and post on Facebook.  I also write in my journal.  I go out for dinner with my husband but usually to the nearest restaurant 10 minutes away from home.  I even volunteered to assist with the all day ladies retreat at the new church we attend.  Even though I’m new there I will be helping as a greeter.  I’ve met several people from the church and actually had one couple over for dinner.  Everyone at church is really nice and I’m still getting to know people there but its a slow process. 

Lately my husband and I have been driving 283 km (or 3 ½ hours) to visit my mother-in-law to help her repair and renovate her house.  Every couple of weeks we go up and spend the night and return the next day.  Just recently we went up and brought her back with us to stay a week and then took her back home, returning that same day – that was a long day.  I find that I’m not very happy about leaving the comfort of my home and have started getting pretty moody about it lately. 

My friends know me as an extrovert – outgoing, friendly and I am unless I’m in a new environment.  What people don’t know is that inside I am really shy. I was shy as a kid. I am still shy in a group until I get to know people. I force myself to jump out there and get to know people even though its uncomfortable.  One thing about going to our new church, everyone is so friendly and have approached me so all I have to do is be responsive.  When I'm normally in a group of people I don't know I smile (as an outward sign of openness and friendliness), observe (assessing people, looking for an opening where I can fit in) and be a bit selective who I want to get to know better. I would never ignore or reject anyone, instead I talk to everyone. I accept people for who they are and can’t stand people that judge and reject others or display signs of snobbery. I tend to gravitate toward fun, outgoing, friendly and confident people but battle with a fear of rejection so sometimes if these people appear to be having way too much fun and seem really close-knit, I may hold myself back a little from that crowd.  When I was in school, I was the kid who was not popular with the cool kids but was well-liked by the underdogs, the rejected, unpopular kids. I wanted to be popular but just wasn’t.  Maybe I accepted that I don’t fit in with these people or maybe I stopped wanting to be popular, I don’t know but at 55, I am completely confident in who I am and who I don’t want to be.  I just refuse to play that social game of “will I be accepted or rejected”.  When we were kids, being popular or well-liked by the cool kids meant everything. As adults, we use “accepted” and “well-liked” instead of the word “popular”.  I have finally come to terms with who I am therefore my confidence has risen, people like me, I am funny and outgoing. The only people I truly feel insecure around are the “choleric” personalities who take charge, exude total confidence, like to control everyone and everything and think they know it all.  I don’t confront well so I usually just avoid these kinds of people or worse, leave the scene if I’m totally uncomfortable. 

I don’t know if I am becoming a home-body and if so, is that a bad thing or if I’m just truly riding the “comfort train” for a while.  Either way, I could sure use some encouragement. 


Maybe I need to take a trip somewhere even though there is no place like home and home is where the heart is.

Ur In Nation

wind turbines towering high above the trees 

traveling life's highway

My goal is to get healthier now that we've moved to the country and lose weight by exercising, right.  I knew when we moved here I would begin walking as soon as the Winter season was over. The last couple of weeks have been ideal for getting outside to begin my walking plan.  The plan was to "walk around the block" keeping in mind that my block is 9 kilometers or 5 1/2 miles because I live in a rural area.  I measured the distance by car, marking down each landmark for every half of a kilometer. I try to take a few photos along my journey just to keep it interesting.

old buildings, possibly used for hay storage for firewood

The first day I walked 2 km, which is 4 km round trip (almost 2 1/2 miles).  No problem.  I was so proud of myself.  The next walk I made it 2.5 km, which is 5 km round trip (3 miles) but half way in I felt the need to urinate.  Holding it as long as I could I was finally forced to hide and relieve myself before I got home.

twisted tree branches

Today I walked 3.5 km, 7 km round trip (4 1/3 miles).  Once again the strong urge to eliminate came upon me.  I was able to hold it until I got home. 

trickling, running water, snow melting in the fields.... 

The need to urinate is disrupting my workout so now I'm wondering what I can change to avoid voiding while I'm walking.  My long-term goal is to walk much longer and a much further distance so I've got to figure something out.  I've decided to try walking earlier in the morning BEFORE I've had my coffee or anything else to drink.   I don't want to become dehydrated because that really does make me sick with headaches, body aches and nausea.  One article I read suggested that I drink a large glass of water one hour before going on the walk, then urinate immediately before I start my walk.  The reason for this is to make sure I am well-hydrated but have eliminated extra fluid before starting my walk. 

If this doesn't work, I may have to invest in adult disposable undergarments.  

It "depends" on how things don't go.  

Two embarrassing moments in one day

Yesterday was a beautiful day! The sun was shining so nicely spreading around a healthy dose of Vitamin D.  I went for another walk to get back on track with my walking plan, which I had started a few days ago. That first day I managed to walk 2 km, with a total of 4 km round trip.  This day I managed to walk a total of 5 km.


As I walked, I prayed for my family and friends and for the survivors in Japan from the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear meltdown.  Before you know it I had easily surpassed the 2 km mark and was headed for my next landmark for 2.5 km. 


When I stopped to catch my breath I took a few pictures.  I spotted a black and orange Caterpillar inching its way across the highway. 

I couldn’t compare my challenge with that little fellow as his a life-or-death risk of not achieving his goal.  At least I didn't have to yield myself to a deadly automobile tire running over me.  I was not hurting like I normally would have been; I was actually feeling pretty good until I felt that pain you sometimes get when you take a long car trip.  


Why does the need to relieve your bladder always happens at the most inopportune times?  Here I am taking a long walk along the countryside 2.5 km away from home with no place to relieve myself other than finding some heavily wooded area or a deep ditch along side of the road.  I could see our house from across the large open field.  

our house from across the field

If it was possible to cut across it I would have been home within 5 minutes. I think you can figure out what had to happen before I got home so if you don't mind I'll skip the rest of this part.  The first embarrassing moment of the day has just happened.

After my walk, I needed to drive into town to get some groceries and do some banking. The Town of Tillsonburg is about a 30 minute drive from our house but on this beautiful, sun-warmed day, I enjoyed the opportunity to get out for a drive.  I managed to get my banking done and headed to the local Wal-Mart and Dollar Store before going grocery shopping.  While I was at the Dollar Store I did something I never, ever, ever do!  I took my purse out of my cart and sat it down in the isle I was shopping in.  I had been filling my cart with several large containers when I ran out of room.  I temporarily sat my purse down on a child-size chair that was in that isle. Then I tried to rearrange my cart to hold everything but walked away without picking up my purse.  It could happen to anyone, right?  I guarantee it won't happen to me again!   I was two isles over when I realized it and then the PANIC hit me! You would have thought I had lost my child in the department store.  I started yelling as loudly as I could for everyone in the store to help me find my purse, fearing the worst that someone had walked by and taken it out of my cart.  Like the children’s story, Chicken Little yelling “The sky is falling, the sky is falling!” I may have actually yelled something like, "Lock the doors and don't let anyone out! My purse is missing! My purse is missing!!!!"  I’m sure I started yelling, "Help me, please, help me find my purse!”  There was never any doubt whether everyone in the store heard me or not!  I was determined that if someone did take my purse from my cart, they were not leaving the store unnoticed so my intention was to make a loud scene and I didn't care what anyone thought of me. 

I got a couple of very nice ladies responding to help me.  Somebody asked what area I had been shopping in last.  While running toward the back of the store peering frantically down each isle to try and spot a thief with a red purse, a lady yelled out, "What color is it?" and I yelled back "Red!"! Then I heard the relieving words, "Found it, it’s over here!"   I had been running to the area I was shopping last and toward the sound of their voice.  The lady pointed to another woman saying, she said she didn't even notice it until just now when you said it was red.  I was so relieved and started thanking everyone near me as I grabbed it and checked to make sure the wallet was inside and that my ID, bank card and credit cards were all there.  Such relief, all was well.  The second embarrassing moment of the day has just occurred.

Miche purse my daughter bought for me

By this time, my heart was pounding out of my chest.  It hit me pretty hard when I realized I had caused it to happen myself by being so careless.  What an idiot!  Thankfully a sweet older lady took the time to tell me she knew how I felt because something similar had happened to her.  I was talking out loud to several people around me about how there is nothing worse next to losing your child in a department store.  I am thankful to God for the empathy and assistance of those few ladies that cared to help me.  The saddest part is out of 30 people in the store, including employees, only 3 people reacted to my pleas for help.  Everyone else completely ignored me as though it wasn’t their problem or it never even happened.  I hate to think what their reaction would have been if a child had been missing. It seems kind of silly now – after all it was just my purse -- but by yelling loudly and making a scene I had a clear purpose in mind.  I thought if someone had taken my purse from my cart they were not going to just walk out of there unnoticed because I had drawn attention to the situation even if over half the store didn’t seem to care, a thief doesn’t like any act of possible attention to his crime. 

Do I sound a little paranoid?  Ok, well, you see, over 20 years ago, when I lived in Kansas, my purse was lifted right out of my shopping cart while grocery shopping all because I carelessly left it in my cart and turned my back.  The thief just walked by my cart, took my purse and kept on walking then went a few isles over, removed my wallet and stashed my purse on a grocery store shelf.  I lost everything and had to start all over again replacing my driver license, credit cards, etc and this is why I never let my purse out of my sight ever since that day. At this time in my life as an American living in Canada with permanent resident status, I cannot afford to risk losing my identity. I actually have copies made of everything that is in my wallet and keep it at home in my file cabinet.  I just recently stopped having a reoccurring nightmare of losing my wallet and my identity.

Ok, maybe I made a scene in public. I feel it was validated regardless of what anyone else thought.  I hope you never have to find out the trouble you have to go through when you have your purse stolen.  There is a whole lot more to identity theft these days and besides we have our whole lives in our purses don’t we ladies?  

Traveling Nomadics

Enjoying the nomadic life right now.
Feeling a bit like a gypsy.
Wishing we never had to go home.
Feeling the adventure and freedom.
Is this how it feels to be a "beach bum" without a beach?

Really like not having to go to work and not having a schedule.
We stay up late if we want and sleep in till we're ready to get up.
While we are visiting other people, we stay in one spot.
While we're traveling, we move camp every day.

Sometimes it reminds me of the pioneer days.
Traveling in a covered wagon (motorhome)scouting the areas.

Our Motorhome Adventure Begins

We didn't pick up our new motorhome until late Tuesday...off to a late start loading "camper" stuff. Both exhausted--barely knew my own name. We didn't get finished and just gave up and went to bed. (we had planned to leave Wed by 9:00 a.m.)

Well.....we had to pack our travel bags AND pack our food AND then clean the house to perfection. A showing was booked for Wed night at 7:30 so we had to be on the road no later than 7;30. Here's the funny part. We left the house at 7:20 and drove as far as Strathmore...stopped at Cdn Tire....stopped to eat and then stopped at Walmart. WE ENDED UP SPENDING THE NIGHT IN THE WALMART PARKING LOT IN OUR NEW MOTORHOME! There were several campers & motorhomes also spending the night there, but for us it was hilarious because we drove 30 km and stopped to spend the night.

I told Brian, 'We are NOT driving back home and dirtying up the house again. We'll just sleep here and get an early start, consider our vacation already started!' We were both so tired that we were in bed by 10:00 pm outside of Walmart and got up at 4:30 a.m. on Thursday traveling on the road.